Never go to bed angry?
This is a piece of advice that I received when I was married ten years ago and quite honestly it wasn’t the best advice we received. For a couple reasons this method didn’t work for us.
First you can beat a dead horse until your blue in the face but all your ever going to do is exhaust yourself more and the horse will still just be dead. When your tiered your mind can’t process things clearly, emotions are usually higher and the exhaustion can affect the fallowing day. Your work, your family life, and your social life all suffer when your tiered.
Second why do you have to be angry?
How we choose to react to a situation is a personal decision. If you don’t want to go to bed angry, agree with the other party your not communicating effectively. Agree to a truce. Rest and resume the discussion at a later date when energy is full and the mind is clear. Your probably going to still be frustrated but by recognizing the exhaustion in each other you open the door for compassion which leads to understanding and healing.
Taking time to really think about what it is your upset about allows you to process not only your own thoughts and feelings but the other parties as well. It allows emotions to level out so clearer thoughts can develop.
I can honestly say that my husband and I spent quite a few years sorting our disagreements out through the night and the end results were anything but peaceful. We would say more hurtful things and get louder and angrier as the argument went on. We would suffer at work the next day making ourselves even more miserable. For us fighting through the night was more harmful than anything.
Over the last few years as we have aged we have come to a better understanding of what we need to be able to communicate. Sleep is one of them. Having a rested soul and a clear head is essential for us to be able to talk, listen and understand each other.
If we are getting too tiered we stop and breath. We agree we are getting no where and need to sleep. With a hug, a kiss and an I love you to reassure each other we are content enough to get a good nights sleep and continue the discussion the next day.
Anger is a choice and it’s your responsibility. You have the choice to react to a situation in anger and no matter your partners words or actions they can’t force you to be angry. They can’t force you to feel anything that’s a choice you have to make.
Now some people swear by fighting it out, but in my experience it’s just more painful than anything. An exhausted spirit gives up.
What do you think of this quote?
Do you feel like going to bed angry is more detrimental to a relationship than fighting it out until your exhausted?
